Even though I spend so much time on them, computers hate me

I am computer illiterate. Seriously. I think I may be the only person in the world who doesnt know how to work Microsoft Word.
I bet I was the only one who got a virus on Charms Recording the night before my tape test was due and had to get my dad to work his magical skills to fix it so I didnt fail my test.
I dont even know how to fix a Header on my IRP essay! TT_TT
I bet something will probably happen and then my comp will shut down on me, just cuz it hates me so much. I love you, but you dont love meee! :'(
computer rejection is the worst form of bullying, right after sexual harrasment.